Minority Man

Singapore Prompts Indonesia on Haze

2006-11-15T02:32:00.000-08:00

Desperate Singapore tried some unorthodox methods to subliminally persuade Indonesia to eradicate the haze problem. During the recent ASEAN meeting of environment ministers Singapore's Yuck-Cough Ibrahim undertook to light a cigarette and blow smoke towards his Indonesian counterpart's face. This was done to demonstrate that Singapore will not remain content to blow just hot air over the issue.

Dinner entertainment was provided by Singapore Idol Hazy Mirza singing a dedication to the Indonesian delegates with the song "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes".

----
Report from TODAY Newspaper

Battle against haze hots up

Wednesday • November 15, 2006

Ansley Ng
ansley@mediacorp.com.sg

THANKS to the lurking El Nino, which is threatening to strike in force next year, a strong sense of urgency has seized the region in the battle against haze.

In fact, what has been happening in the last five weeks, during which regional officials were engaged in a series of meetings, has yielded "hope and optimism", said Environment and Water Resources Minister Yaacob Ibrahim yesterday as he fielded questions from MPs on the haze situation.

Describing the measures that have been drawn up as "concrete", the minister however cautioned that it is not a problem that can be solved overnight.

"I am a bit more optimistic now that we have something concrete," said Dr Yaacob. "(But) will we solve the problem next year? I don't think so. We would require long-term effort."

Singaporeans should not expect this to be solved in one or two years, he said.

He explained: "You need concrete action at the ground to develop new capacities among farmers and land owners to make sure they resolve to use land clearing methods that were more environmentally friendly."

Even as they set out to fight the haze problem on two fronts, fire prevention and suppression, simply having farmers change their slash-and-burn method to the modern method to clear land would take some time, Dr Yaacob added. They would have to be given equipment, and be taught to use and maintain it.

While there is clear and strong political commitment on Indonesia's part to eradicate the problem, Dr Yaacob also said that the country needs to ratify the Asean (Association of South-east Asian Nations) Haze Agreement to show its political resolve.

He hopes details of the implementation plans will be sorted out before the Ministerial Committee meets again in February 2007.

In response to MP Madam Halimah Yacob (Jurong GRC) who wanted to know the impact of the haze problem on the economy and the health of the population, Dr Yaacob said that a local professor is studying economic losses from the haze. Prolonged periods of haze, he added, would lead to losses stemming from a rise in hospitalisation cost, tourism, productivity and recreational activities.

Wee Shu Min Jokes

2006-10-28T01:44:00.000-07:00

Q. What does Wee Shu Min tell her mole while looking at the mirror every single day ?

Ans: Get out of my elite, uncaring face

Q. Why did Shu Min's dad and RJC's principal insisit that she go for counselling ?

Ans: So she can get out of this elite, uncaring phase.

Q. Why won't the Internal Security Department hire Wee Shu Min ?

Ans: Due to traumatic personal experience, she may be reluctant to plant a mole on someone else.

China Lady Loses "Right To Sex" Lawsuit

2006-09-01T02:12:00.000-07:00

A lady in China lost a lawsuit over compensation for lack of sex after her husband's cock was injured in an accident. The amount sought was 220,000 yuan (SG$43,500) to cover mental anguish and for the purchase of vibrators. I am guessing that this large figure means batteries were included.

Now that she lost the lawsuit, I suppose she could earn some money by acting in these adult movies:

Warning (NSFW)

Adult Movie 1 (Click on the large photo thumbnails on the left to see free previews)
Adult Movie 2

Read the related news article on Reuters:

China court rejects suit over right to sex

Reuters
Thursday, August 31, 2006; 4:19 AM

SHANGHAI (Reuters) - A Chinese court has rejected a woman's claims for compensation for her sex life, which was ruined when her husband was injured in an accident, the Shanghai Daily reported on Thursday.

Wei Suying, 31, whose husband has suffered from erectile dysfunction since a 2003 workplace accident, filed suit in a Shanghai court asking for 220,000 yuan ($27,650) in compensation from the shopping center where the accident occurred, it said.

The compensation included claims for mental anguish and for her purchases of products such as vibrators.

"I was not even 30 years old when my husband had the accident, which deprived me of my right to enjoy sexual life," the newspaper quoted Wei as saying.

But the court ruled that Chinese law does not define an individual's sex life as a protected right. Relatives can only ask for mental anguish compensation when a victim dies, the report said.

Wei's husband, Zhang Chengxiang, stumbled and hit his genitals on the corner of some audio equipment when an iron bar fell from a vent and knocked his head while he was working in a shopping center, it said.

The shopping center had paid Zhang 130,000 yuan ($16,340) in compensation in a previous lawsuit.

In pre-communist China, sex was less a taboo than it became under former leader Mao Zedong, when it became a matter of doing one's reproductive duty for the state.

Since then, the government has embarked upon a stern family planning policy to control a booming population -- the world's largest -- but official attitudes toward sex remain puritan, though they are changing slowly.

($1=7.956 Yuan)

2006 National Day Rally Speech

2006-08-30T10:25:00.000-07:00

PM Lee spoke about the Digital Age in his 2006 National Day Rally Speech. He mentioned a famous parody website and then went on to make a gaffe in Hokkien about ordering "mee siam" without "hum". In other words he went from talking cock to talking cockles.

The PM's assumption that mee siam contains cockles together with his refusal to allow someone else to vet his speech shows that he is very ~~shellfish~~ selfish.

Mr Brown's parody of "mai hum" may prompt PM Lee to avoid, like cockles, another food item: black-eyed peas.

Song Parody: Cleaning Out My Closet by Eminem

2006-08-30T05:59:00.000-07:00

Parody of the song "Cleaning Out My Closet". I don't think Eminem will be too thrilled by this. With the title containing words like "closet" and "out", I guess it was only a matter of time somebody, errr, came out to mock it.

Check it out, pun intended.

Zoe Tay Gets Adult Movie Offer

2006-08-29T06:21:00.000-07:00

Zoe Tay has been offered to act in an adult movie. If she agrees, she would be appearing in number 23 of this DVD series. Zoe will not be the first Asian women to be featured though. Title number 8 stars Filipina Mei Yu.

Warning: NSFW
Click on this link for more info. Links to all titles appear on the bottom right.

Zoe Tay Interview

2006-08-28T21:01:00.000-07:00

S.W. Low of the Staid Times interviews Zoe Tay after the launch of the 'I Swallow' Imedeen skin tablets ad.

S.W. : So Zoe, do you really swallow ?

Zoe: Of course I do. That's the only way to take those pills.

S.W. : Did Phillip, your fighter pilot husband, have anything to say about this ad?

Zoe: He did express some concerns but I reassured him that people would think about pills and not other things when they see my ad. I think he found that hard to swallow.

S.W. : Is there anything you won't swallow ?

Zoe: Yes, my pride.

S.W. : (Mumbles) That explains that awards show fiasco with Fann and Christopher.

Zoe: What ???

S.W. : Nothing, nothing. I heard you love dogs. Is there a breed you don't like ?

Zoe: I don't fancy Spitz so much.

S.W. : So have you had any new offers to do ads ?

Zoe: Listerine wants me to do an 'I gargle' ad and a toy company wants me to do an 'I blow bubbles' ad. I also got a wierd offer. A special kind of bank asked me if I would like to do a "Sometimes I don't swallow but keep and donate" ad. They said it was a 'pilot' project. They want to increase their deposits from pilots. They were only interested in making an oral agreement with me.

S.W. : What do you think about your career prospects now ?

Zoe: I am very excited about my prospects. I think I will soon become the most popular star in Singapore, just like the good old days.

S.W.: You should not get too confident. There is a saying in the West, "One swallow does not make a summer".

Zoe: Huh? Singapore where got summer ?

S.W.: Never mind. Let's change topic. Singapore men must be wondering what your sex life is like since giving birth. Care to tell us ?

Zoe: You won't believe this but Phillip and I have become more adventurous.

S.W.: Wow, care to elaborate ?

Zoe: Let's just say that Philip, my fighter pilot husband, has access to 3 cock-pits when in bed with me.

S.W. : Last question. What advice do you give your fighter pilot husband so that he comes home safe ?

Zoe: I tell him "At home you can ejaculate in my cock-pits, but at work don't be late to eject from your cockpit.

Zoe Tay in Government Campaign

2006-08-28T13:57:00.000-07:00

Hot on the heels of her successful 'I Swallow' advertisement, Zoe Tay has been roped in by the government to help spread an old message.

Zoe Tay Campaign Poster

Men, Women, Etc

2006-02-02T08:40:00.000-08:00

John Gray has just written a sequel to his bestseller. This latest book was written for male readers and is titled:

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, and Gays wish they were in Uranus.

Ladies, Don't Lose Your Locker Key in Japan

2005-10-27T00:11:00.000-07:00

There is a locker service in Japan that has an unorthodox way of punishing female clients that lose their locker keys. I wonder how many Singaporean men would volunteer to work there. [Fiction]

Take a look (NSFW).

Directing Traffic

2005-07-29T12:36:00.000-07:00

Traffic wardens take note: This is how NOT to direct traffic.

This is the correct way.

No Fashion Sense

2005-07-27T17:48:00.000-07:00

The son of Equatorial Guinea's president has a reputation for spending millions on luxuries in Paris.

No matter how much he spends on clothes, Singaporeans will always think he is hopelessly out of fashion.

Here is the reason why:

The Times
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/
July 21, 2005

President's playboy son splashes out £1m in luxury car spree
By Xan Rice

MOST of his country’s citizens survive on less than 60p a day, but that has not stopped the son of the President of Equatorial Guinea from spending nearly £1 million on three luxury cars during a remarkable shopping spree in South Africa.

Teodorin Nguema Obiang, the Minister of Forestry, Environment and Housing in his father’s Government, bought a black Bentley Arnage and a cream Bentley Mulliner worth £600,000 last weekend. He then added a white six-litre Lamborghini Murcielago worth £275,000 to his fleet, according to The Star newspaper.

Oil was discovered in Equatorial Guinea a decade ago and the country, a former Spanish colony, now has Africa’s fastest-growing economy. The boom inspired a failed coup attempt last year led by Simon Mann, a former SAS officer, and partly financed, unwittingly, by Sir Mark Thatcher.

Mr Obiang, 34, is renowned for his playboy lifestyle. A regular on the international party circuit, he owns a hip-hop record label in the United States and the only private radio station in Equatorial Guinea.

He is believed to own homes in London, Paris and Los Angeles, and to have two Cape Town mansions, each costing more than £2 million.

For his latest trip to Cape Town, Mr Obiang stayed in a £700-a-night suite at the Mount Nelson Hotel, and ran up a £1,300 bill on champagne for his entourage at the bar on Friday night. His new vehicles were outside. Staff said that they belonged to an “African prince”.

The Equatorial Guinean embassy in Pretoria would not comment on the visit, calling it “private business”.

Between 2001 and 2004, the GDP of Equatorial Guinea more than doubled, to $4.5 billion (£2.6 billion), but most people remain desperately poor.

American and European oil companies have ignored the Government’s appalling record on human rights.

Hundreds of millions of dollars have allegedly been siphoned off by President Obiang’s family, which includes more than a dozen government ministers who dominate the country’s security apparatus.

The US Senate is continuing its investigation into payments of $700 million of oil revenue into bank accounts under the President’s control.

Teodorin Obiang is known to have made millions of dollars from ownership of a timber company.

Despite his unpredictable nature — he is rumoured to have fired a shot during a recent argument with his ailing father, who has prostate cancer — he is the favourite to become the country’s next leader.

But he faces a bitter struggle with his brother, Gabriel Mbegha Nguema Lima, who is the Oil Minister, and his uncle, General Armengol Ondo Nguema, who is the National Security Adviser.

Real Madrid Love Triangle

2005-07-26T15:07:00.000-07:00

Seems like Ronaldo (second from right) has the hots for Japanese model Ari Ota.

Kimono Party Girl Miss Ota, on the other hand, is holding some white guy.

This photo was taken at a press conference to promote Real Madrid's official film, 'Real The Movie,' in Tokyo Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Buying Milk

2005-07-24T10:01:00.000-07:00

Would you buy milk from this shop ?

Circumcision Joke

2005-07-23T13:44:00.000-07:00

The circumcision failed due to unforeskin circumstances.

Hmmm, the wonder what they do with all those discarded foreskins.

Virgin Urinals

2005-07-23T02:31:00.000-07:00

Urinals

Back in March 2004 Virgin Airlines had planned to install these bright red urinals shaped like a woman's lips in its Upper-Class lounge in JFK Airport, New York. I wonder why they chose this design. Was it some kind of subliminal advertising ? The message being: "As long as you go strictly oral, you always remain Virgin." Singapore Airlines has the slogan "A Great Way to Fly". Now meet "A Great Way to Unzip a Fly".

The airline seems to really indulge their male pilots. After getting some oral stimulation by these urinals they get to enter the cockpit. Talk about full service.

A British aristocrat used to boast that he would regularly abuse these urinals. Janitors though could not find any evidence of this. Turns out that this gentleman is a low-sperm Count.

I don't think it is a good idea to install these urinals in public buildings as they have a tendency to attract jerks and seamen. It would be appropriate, however, to install them in the attached toilet of a man's ~~masturbate room~~ master bedroom.

Sore Stomachs in Balasore

2005-07-22T12:36:00.000-07:00

Police in the Indian city of Balasore punished the male viewers of a porn movie by making them do sit-ups in public. The police chief, Mr. Sanjeev Panda, probably wanted to public to sit up and notice this.

Why punish the stomach when the guilty parties are the eyes, hands and cock ? Should'nt they have been ordered to milk cows ? This way they would still be using their hands to produce a white liquid. Only this time it brings benefits to the public.

Get your trousers up and give me ten
DeHavilland Information Services
18 July 2005

Randy cinemagoers in India were given a punishment of public humiliation after being caught with their pants down watching a porn movie.

The 200 or so culprits, some of whom were teenagers younger than 17, were forced to do ten sit ups outside the cinema, some in front of their parents, reports the Hindustan Times.

They also had to vow never to watch a pornographic film again, an activity that is outlawed in India.

Sanjeev Panda, police chief in the Balasore district, said: "Earlier we acted against the [cinema] hall owners and their staff but it failed to effectively check screening of obscene movies, so we decided to crack down on the audience."

Interracial Dating

2005-07-20T23:20:00.000-07:00

When it comes to interracial dating, white women are known to say "Once you go black, you never go back". Caution: Nudity, NSFW Pic

Chinese character for "black". Elongated, naturally......

Last Word on the NKF Saga

2005-07-19T04:15:00.000-07:00

Wanted: Mr. Peanut

SPG's Apartment Search

2005-07-19T00:06:00.000-07:00

As the Sarong Party Girl will be starting her studies in NTU soon, she is now looking for an apartment to ~~rant~~ rent.

She clearly states that she is not interested in an HDB flat. We seem to see a pattern here. She is Chinese, but is not interested in Chinese men. Now we learn that she won't live in a flat even though she herself is flat.

SPG boasts to her prospective landlords that she is neat and does her dishes before going to bed. I beg to differ. When it somes to toilet hygiene there is clear evidence that she knows squat.

As for her active sex life, she promises to tape her mouth shut after 11 pm to ensure a quiet night for the neighbours. If you are an angmoh guy looking to hook up with SPG to enjoy oral services at midnight, this will probably be a big blow.

Snakes in Melaka

2005-07-18T10:18:00.000-07:00

Came across this photo with an enigmatic caption: Photo.

I wonder if the one with the "white big snake" is wearing underwear similar to this.

Double meanings aside, this Singapore-based blogger takes beautiful photos.

Drinks like a Fish

2005-07-16T23:39:00.000-07:00

This guy obviously had too much to drink at Post Bar in Fullerton Hotel. He was forced to rush outside to vomit.

No Gas Found in Northern Singapore

2005-07-16T20:33:00.000-07:00

SCDF spokesman Mr. Ken Tut announced that no gas was observed in the northern part of Singapore. This may prompt you to ~~gas~~ guess whether SCDF stands for Singaporeans Carefully Detecting Farts. Actually they were looking for more dangerous gases. Even SCDF's Hazardous Materials (HAZMAT) specialists were deployed. I wonder if the HAZMAT team has at least one Malay member, as the name suggests.

News article:

SCDF says no detection of gas in northern Singapore
Channelnews Asia
Saturday July 16, 10:17 PM

SINGAPORE : The smell of gas was reported in the northern part of Singapore between 5pm and 5.45pm on Friday.

Members of the public called the Singapore Civil Defence Force about the smell in Sembawang Crescent, Lagos Circle, Marsiling Drive and Woodlands Sector 1.

SCDF immediately deployed six emergency appliances and 25 personnel, including SCDF's Hazardous Materials (HAZMAT) Specialists.

However, investigations and on-site monitoring did not detect the presence of gas, and SCDF terminated its operation shortly after 8pm. - CNA/de

Harry Potter Castaway

2005-07-16T07:29:00.000-07:00

If Harry Potter ever crashes his Nimbus 2000 flying broomstick over the Pacific ocean and washes ashore on some remote uninhabited island ala Tom Hanks in Cast Away, this is what he will turn into.

When Harry Met Filly

2005-07-15T13:27:00.000-07:00

Having sex with a partner that is hoarse can be unpleasant due to the rough moans. But there is something worse than that. It is having sex with a partner that's a horse. A Seattle man actually died while doing this. Poor bastard. Was he sheepless in Seattle? What man would stoop so low (okay maybe not too low) to fuck a horse?
There is really no excuse for this kind of behaviour even if his wife or girlfriend betrayed him in this manner. Talk about a ~~horse-style~~ hostile takeover.

I hope that our Singapore taxi drivers do their sex in Geylang and horse-betting in Kranji and never mix up the two. If a taxi-driver is spotted in Geylang writing down the Thai fish-tank prostitutes' numbers on a betting slip, one shudders to think what he does at the Turf Club.

Here is the report from Seattle Times followed by some sound clips.

Enumclaw-area animal-sex case investigated

By Jennifer Sullivan
Seattle Times staff reporter
Friday July 15, 2005

King County sheriff's detectives are investigating the owners of an Enumclaw-area farm after a Seattle man died from injuries sustained while having sex with a horse boarded on the property.

Investigators first learned of the farm after the man died at Enumclaw Community Hospital July 2. The county Medical Examiner's Office ruled that the death was accidental and the result of having sex with a horse.

A surveillance camera picked up the license plate of the car that dropped the man off at the hospital, which led detectives to the farm and other people involved, said sheriff's Sgt. John Urquhart.

Deputies don't believe a crime occurred because bestiality is not illegal in Washington state and the horse was uninjured, said Urquhart.

But because investigators found chickens, goats and sheep on the property, they are looking into whether animal cruelty — which is a crime — was committed by having sex with these smaller, weaker animals, he said.

The farm was talked about in Internet chat rooms as a destination for people looking to have sex with livestock, he said.

"A significant number of people, we believe, have likely visited this farm," said Urquhart.

The Humane Society of the United States intends to use the case during the next state legislative session as an example of why sex with animals should be outlawed in Washington, said Bob Reder, a Humane Society regional director in Seattle.

"This and a few other cases that we have will allow us a platform to talk about sex abuse of animals," Reder said.

Thirty-three states ban sex with animals, he said.

Susan Michaels, co-founder of local animal-rights organization Pasado's Safe Haven, said she has been fighting to have bestiality made illegal. "It's animal cruelty behind closed doors," Michaels said.

End of article.

Following is fiction:
Police recovered a hidden tape recorder from the site and released these 2 sound clips of the horse.

At the beginning of the act: Clip1 (Curiosity)
When the horse finally realizes whats going on: Clip2 (Shock)

The title of this blog entry "When Harry Met Filly" plays on the movie "When Harry Met Sally". A filly is a young female horse.

Google Thinks Xia Xue is Crazy

2005-07-15T02:43:00.000-07:00

When I searched for "xiaxue" on Google I got the response "Did you mean: xiaoxue".

Some people may think she is crazy but Google ?

Click image for details:

Next NKF CEO?

2005-07-14T19:06:00.000-07:00

I wonder who will be tapped as the next NKF CEO.

Would they consider him ?

Time to Pack Up and Go(h)

2005-07-14T05:36:00.000-07:00

Click to Enlarge

Excerpt from the Financial Times July 14, 2005 1:33 am

Public attention has also focused on Mrs Goh, the senior minister's wife, after she defended Mr Durai's salary.

“For a person who runs a million-dollar charitable organisation, S$600,000 is peanuts as [NKF] has a few hundred millions in reserves,” she said.

Excerpt from the Business Times July 14, 2005 6:41 pm

National Kidney Foundation's (NKF) chief executive TT Durai and the NKF board have resigned.

Davinder Singh's Smileys

2005-07-13T18:32:00.000-07:00

I wonder if the great lawyer Davinder Singh uses these smileys to express himself on the Internet.

@:)
Won another case

@:(
Lost a case (rarely used)

TT Durai Vs. TT Durex

2005-07-12T04:38:00.000-07:00

**Comparing TT Durai with TT Durex**
TT Durai	TT Durex
is sue-happy	makes Sue happy (when ribbed)
works closely with Dick (Richard Yong, NKF Chairman)	works very closely with dick
sued Susan Long	screwed Susan long
lacks transparency	is transparent
forced into early withdrawal	prevents early withdrawal
is used to stretching the truth	Truth is, it is used to stretching
condemns critics	critical condom
tipped to have fluid reserves	has a reservoir tip for fluids
likely to have a high disposable income	highly likely to be disposed after Ian comes

For a more serious comparision related to this issue, read TalkNoAction's entry titled "NKF vs PAP Regime" in Sammyboy Forum.

LHL and wife go to Taiwan (Joke)

2005-07-11T01:52:00.000-07:00

A Joke:

LHL and his wife were visiting Taiwan for a short holiday. After checking in, LHL decided to leave his wife inside the room and head for the hotel lobby to check out the local goods on offer. He spotted one fine looking thing and promptly approached her.

The following conversation ensued:
(Note: translated into English)

LHL: Hi, how much for a short time ?
Taiwanese Girl: US$300
LHL: Wow! Too high, can you go lower?
TG: Okay, $250
LHL: No, No, No, still too high. Lower can?
TG: I won't go lower than $150
LHL: No, it's still too high. Okay, thanks anyway.

LHL heads back to his room in disappointment.

The next day, LHL and his wife were checking out of the hotel.
The same Taiwanese lady happened to be there at the lobby.
Upon seeing the couple, she goes up to LHL and says,

"See, this is what you get for five dollars"

William Hung and SPG

2005-07-10T23:23:00.000-07:00

Twins separated at birth ?

Heady Stuff from Japan

2005-07-10T03:40:00.000-07:00

Porn movies usually feature girls giving head. In this particular movie from Japan, they have girls showing head instead, in public no less.

This video has three different girls getting fucked in a parked vehicle with their heads sticking out.

In the following pic, the girl's head can be seen on the right and a curious guy on the left. There is even a clueless policeman at the centre.

Pic.

This girl is obviously being doggy-styled.
Or she may be constipated.

This is not the first time oriental people have had their heads sticking out in public. In Ancient China they used this as a form of punishment. The device used is called a cangue. Much less pleasureable than what the Japanese girls experienced.

Video cover. (NSFW)
Video page (NSFW) containing description in Japanese and other pictures.

Bollywood in Singapore in September

2005-07-10T01:35:00.000-07:00

Hrithik Roshan

Priyanka Chopra (Miss World 2000)

Singapore sling
Express News Service

Mumbai, July 8: Come September and Hrithik Roshan will be shifting bag and baggage to Singapore. Giving him company will be Priyanka Chopra, Rekha and Naseeruddin Shah. Krrish, the much awaited sequel to Koi...Mil Gaya begins an extensive, two month shooting schedule in the Lion City. Singapore Tourism Board has also signed a MoU with dad Rakesh Roshan’s company Filmkraft. Sporting a brown corduroy jacket and his by now characteristic long hair, Hrithik appeared gung-ho. ‘‘If there’s any other place in this world I can call home, it’s Singapore. So you can say I’m just shifting homes for 60 days.’’ Incidentally, Chopra plays a Singapore-based journalist in Krrish.

Pray for him

2005-07-09T21:48:00.000-07:00

This singer used to be in a band. Later he went solo. But nobody imagined he would go so low. Talk about preying on our sympathies. News article follows:

Omarion

In London, uninjured singer seeks prayers
Fri Jul 8, 2005 11:24 AM ET

NEW YORK (Reuters) - London was the scene of carnage on Thursday after a series of deadly blasts but American R&B crooner Omarion, who suffered no injury or inconvenience, wants people to pray for him.

"Omarion was in London during the tragic bombings that struck this morning," a statement by the singer's publicist AR PR Marketing, released hours after the bombings, said.

Making no mention of the fatalities or casualties of the blasts, the singer's statement concluded, "He would like his fans to pray that he has a safe trip and a safe return home. He appreciates your support."

He was in London for Saturday's Live 8 show, his publicist Shana Gilmore told Reuters from Los Angeles. Asked why anyone should pray for him, Gilmore said, "He wasn't hurt or anything, but just the fact that he was there and all that."

Omarion was the teenaged lead singer of the chart-topping band B2K before going solo. The 20-year-old's first solo album "O" debuted at No. 1 of Billboard charts earlier this year.

Perils of Photo Blogging

2005-07-06T01:44:00.000-07:00

If you decide to photo-blog your activities, especially criminal ones, don't give up at the wrong time and the wrong place. You will have a flickr-ing career.

Brilliant...just brilliant...
Tue Jul 5, 2005 9:41 AM ET

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German thief effectively signed his own arrest warrant after photographing himself at the scene of a crime and accidentally leaving the pictures for police to discover.

Police in the northern town of Neumuenster said the youth stole a digital camera during a break-in in nearby Rendsburg and took the photos before discarding the device nearby.

"We don't know if it was down to a series of unfortunate events or whether the thief couldn't get to grips with the technology," police said in a statement Monday.

Officers found photos which could only have been taken by the perpetrator, including pictures of the 17-year-old, whom they recognized from previous offences.

"The evidence was fairly compelling so he had to admit it," said police spokesman Soenke Hinrichs.

Madonna and Ethiopian Girl

2005-07-03T21:36:00.000-07:00

Madonna appeared with former famine victim Birhan Woldu at the Live 8 concert in Hyde Park in London.

Madonna also showed the fans how thin Ms. Woldu used to be during the height of the famine.

Magazine for Japanese Sex Workers

2005-06-30T19:44:00.000-07:00

There is a magazine in Japan catering to women who wish to work part-time in the sex industry. The name of this publication is Bustier (website).

A page on the website explains the Japanese sex industry jargon to newbies. The second entry on this list describes a ~~bloody~~ really gross fetish among some Japanese men. If you know what it means, good for you. If you don't, it's even better.

There is a job-search questionnaire on the right side of the home page as pictured below:

Here is an explanation of this job-search menu. The word "client" refers to the lady interested in entering the sex industry through this magazine's service.

The three drop-down menus ask for (from top to bottom):

Type of sex service client is interested to work in.
Location of client
Age of client.

The colourful icons with check boxes mean the following:

Newly hatched chick: Newbie, client has never worked in the sex industry.
Train: Client wants to be reimbursed for train fare.
Red purse: Client prefers to be paid on the same day service is provided.
Baby's bottle: Client needs baby-sitting service.
House: Client wants to live in a dormitory to be provided by employer. Usually country-side girls demand this.
Uniform: Client wants uniforms to be provided by employer.
Steering Wheel: Client wants to be driven back home in a car after work.

Greeting a Big-Breasted Thai Lady

2005-06-30T17:59:00.000-07:00

Don't you just love those ~~thighs~~ Thais ?

If you are a male, how do you politely greet and compliment a well-endowed Thai lady ?

You say Sawa D-Cup.

I think it sounds similar to this.

"The Last Samurai" according to Tom Cruise

2005-06-30T16:58:00.000-07:00

What if Tom Cruise had his way with movie scripts.

The Last Samurai (spoiler alert)

The Scene
Captain Nathan Algren (Tom Cruise) gives the Japanese Emperor the sword of Lord
Katsumoto (Ken Watanabe) who was killed in battle.

Actual Dialog

THE EMPEROR
The Samurai is gone. The spirit of samurai lives forever.
Tell me how he died.

ALGREN
I will tell you how he lived.

Tom's preferred dialog

THE EMPEROR
The Samurai is gone. The spirit of samurai lives forever.
Tell me how he died.

ALGREN
Fuck Katsumoto, I will tell you how L. Ron Hubbard lived.

Director: CUT!!!

Related News.

Female Fans at FIFA Confederations Cup Tournament

2005-06-29T03:26:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures of female fans at the FIFA Confederations Cup Tournament held in Germany in June 2005.

For the match between Germany and Tunisia, this German girl chose to dress in a bikini and a flag. We need more female fans like this:

These Japanese fans were more modestly dressed. Yukatta ne.

When you wear a bra with zeal you get Brazil:

There are many ways to desecrate your national flag. By burning it, tearing it, stamping on it, and......er......farting on it. This form of flag desecration does not apply if your country produces a lot of natural gas, I guess.

This Mexican fan had "tequila" midget to get those mini sombreros.

I just told these Brazilian fans that Singapore plans to qualify for the 2010 World Cup Finals in South Africa.

We all know that Japan is the land of rising sun:

But is Argentina the land of the setting sun ?

Another Pop Star and Panties Story

2005-06-29T00:04:00.000-07:00

Popular male pop stars regularly get panties thrown at them by their fawning female fans during live concerts. This story involves a female pop star, a taxi driver fan and a pair of panties:

Pop star rewards honest cabbie with knickers
June 14 2005 at 01:55PM

As if driving a famous pop star around town was not enough, a Serbian taxi driver was rewarded for his honesty - with a pair of her knickers (panties).

Serbian pop star Tina Ivanovic, 29, (pictured above) offered money to cabbie Toma Majstorovic after he returned her handbag, but when he refused - saying he would rather prefer a pair of her knickers instead - she gladly obliged.

Ivanovic was so touched when Majstorovic returned her bag that she gave him a pair of silk panties, local weekly newspaper Svet reported.

The singer had left her handbag in his car after a trip to a beauty salon in Belgrade. - ananova.com

I wonder if Singaporean cabby Tan Ah Kow of panty-UC COMFORT-able would ask for a similar favour from Fiona Xie, Ho Yeow Sun, etc.

A Typo in Taipei

2005-06-28T15:53:00.000-07:00

An unfortunate lady in Taiwan is looking for a new job after a mishap at the stockbroking firm which fired her. Her keyboard mis-stroke nearly caused the boss to have a stroke.

One wonders if she had these kind of nails:

Even this ladies' job in Taiwan can't be done with long fingernails.

Somebody's sure to notice this...
Tue Jun 28, 2005 10:42 AM ET

TAIPEI (Reuters) - A Taiwan stock trader mistakenly bought T$7.9 billion ($251 million) worth of shares with a mis-stroke of her computer, meaning her company is looking at a paper loss of more than $12 million and she is looking for a new job.

The trader with Fubon Securities mis-keyed in a small order from Merrill Lynch Monday, creating confusion when many small firms inexplicably surged the 7 percent trading limit.

"Something like this is difficult to explain to superiors," a Fubon executive said Tuesday.

Fubon said that the trader was unfamiliar with new computer systems and would be fired.

"There is a paper loss of more than T$400 million," said the executive.

"However, with a good outlook for stocks in the second half, there are no plans to sell the shares in the near term."

West Ham United ?

2005-06-27T17:13:00.000-07:00

Pig-ball (click to enlarge)

We all know that West Ham United has just been promoted to the English Premier League. I think this news story from Russia will cause some confusion.

The Man-of-the-Match was David Beck-HAM. And this other player was sent-off for violent play: Notorious P.I.G.

'Pig-Ball' Soccer Championships Staged in Russia, With Piglets Playing Five-On-Five Match
The Associated Press

Jun. 5, 2005 - In this game, everyone stinks and hogging the ball is to be expected. Ten squealing, wriggling piglets pushed (and licked) a soccer ball around a small caged pen Sunday in what organizers said was Russia's first-ever "pig-ball" championships.

The event, staged as part of an agricultural exhibition on Moscow's outskirts, is set up like soccer, with two teams of five piglets. Instead of goals, the teams try to move the ball into painted, half-circles located at the pen's corners. To move things along, the ball is slathered in mashed carrots.

Whether there's any athletic skill involved aside from aggressive licking is an open question.

"Why pigs?" said Nariner Bagmanyan, one of the event's organizers. "It's more interesting and you know, this kind of thing doesn't happen anywhere."

Cheered on by dozens spectators, the winning piglets got a trophy for their efforts and a trough of mashed carrots.

Organizers, along with the newly formed Federation of Sport Pig Breeding, said next year they planned to recruit pig-ball teams from around Russia.

ABC News Internet Ventures

Batman Begins and The Simpsons

2005-06-27T16:39:00.000-07:00

Police Officer Jim Gordon in Batman Begins has a close resemblance to the devout Christian Ned Flanders of the Simpsons.

No wonder the officer bails out a character played by "Christian" Bale.

Allergic to Dairy Products

2005-06-27T16:02:00.000-07:00

This Japanese adult video actress is surely not "lick-toes" intolerant.

Beckham and Plumber: Poles Apart?

2005-06-25T22:55:00.000-07:00

Polish Plumber (click on pic to enlarge)

The government of Poland is using the above poster to reassure France that their plumbers would be staying home rather than take her jobs. The poster also urges French people to visit Poland. The model, 21-year old Piotr Adamski, looks a lot like a certain English footballer in Spain.

Now, will the Chinese government ever use Gong Li in a poster to reassure Singaporeans about their jobs ? Or India use Shahrukh Khan to calm our fears about employment in IT ?

Whale Burgers in Japan

2005-06-23T15:54:00.000-07:00

A young Japanese woman bites into a whale burger, a 380 yen slice of fried minke whale in a bun, which went on sale at Lucky Pierrot, a restaurant chain in the port city of Hakodate on Japan's northernmost island of Hokkaido, June 23, 2005. With Japan under fire for plans to expand its whaling programme, Lucky Pierrot is offering a new product aimed at using up stocks from past hunts. REUTERS/Courtesy of Lucky Pierrot

It is a good thing that the caption mentions the kind of whale meat she is eating. The white stuff on the burger gives the false impression that it is sperm whale.

Of course, Chinese Singaporeans may retort, "Sperm Whale ? Mayo, lah"

Which Backstreet Boy is Gay ?

2005-06-22T16:34:00.000-07:00

Sung to the tune of Backstreet Boys' "I Want It That Way". (Warning: song will play)

My guess is the blonde guy on the right.

There are some mistakes in the lyrics on that website.

Here are the corrections:

But he don't need an IUD
He's playing croquet
His dog is a Pekingese
He's makin' up a soufflé.

Tom Cruising

2005-06-21T12:46:00.000-07:00

A repoter in London confused the movie "War of the Worlds" with "Waterworld" resulting in this mishap. C'mon Tom, relax. It's just like getting a bit wet in the rain, man.

TVgasm has a funny take on this incident using the term "money shot" which denotes the climax scenes in porn movies where the actor completes his act on the partner's face. It is also known as a facial. The clip on the left is the actual incident and the right one is the parody. Enjoy!

Earlier in Paris, Tom Cruise reportedly said and we quote "Eiffel on my knees and proposed to Kate".

I wonder if Ms. Hilton's boyfriend proposed to her while in Paris.

Germany Vs Argentina

2005-06-21T12:12:00.000-07:00

The name of the goalkeeper for Argentina playing against Germany in the Confederations Cup Soccer Tournament is German Lux. (Lux is pronounced "Looks")

The pre-game headline for this game should be:

Germans Look to beat German Lux

The Other Handsome Footballers

2005-06-21T05:05:00.000-07:00

Why is a straight guy like me making a list of "the other" handsome footballers ?

Answers:
1. Make my lady viewers happy
2. Show some selections made by my lady friends
3. Tired of the over-exposure of players like Beckham, Raul, Figo, Nakata and Frank Lam-Pah.

The List

1. David Ginola of France (retired, models for L'Oreal Hair Shampoo)

2. Kaka of AC Milan & Brazil
Kaka's club team lost to Liverpool in the European Champion's League Final. I wonder how many ladies would volunteer to console him. A clear favorite among the schoolgirls.

I think Kaka deserves a second look. Is he showing us the number of girlfriends he had ?

And a third. Christian ladies rejoice.

3. Mido of Tottenham Hotspurs and Egypt
I am sure many Malay ladies will be happy to see this Egyptian guy. Sorry to mention this tapi dia sudah kahwin.

More photos in Mido's website.

4. Cannavaro of Juventus and Italy.
He has very short hair now. I included him to make my gay viewers happy.

5. Junichi Inamoto of WBA and Japan
My Japanese lady friends call him Ina-chan. Otokomae desu ne.

6. Ilhan Mansiz of Hertha Berlin and Turkey

7. Roque Santa Cruz of Bayern Munich and Paraguay

Hand Foot and Mouth Disease

2005-06-20T21:58:00.000-07:00

Hand Foot and Mouth Disease is a mild ailment afflicting young children.

You can read a brief description about it here.

However, in the Japanese adult video industry, some actresses suffer from a slightly different form of this disease.

Danish Game for Exotic Dinners

2005-06-20T20:46:00.000-07:00

You can have tea with dessert but never have meat with a Danish.

Read on:

Zookeepers find muskrats delectable

Reuters
Mon Jun 20,12:32 PM ET

Danish zookeepers slaughtered animals in their care, including more than 50 muskrats, and served the meat to unsuspecting friends and family until zoos changed their rules, newspaper Ekstra Bladet reported Friday.

"A single muskrat serves up to four people. You just have to avoid saying what it is before your family has eaten it because it sounds disgusting," elephant keeper Peter Jensen was quoted as saying.

Nobody at Copenhagen Zoo, home to 3,300 animals and 264 species, was available for comment.

The zookeepers also feasted on antelope and gaur, the newspaper said.

"It's always a success when you can serve you friends something special," zookeeper Nikolai Rhod said, adding he had also eaten rabbits, pigs and chicken from the petting zoo.

Zookeepers in Denmark used to slaughter animals for meat until a zoo crackdown last year under which anyone caught doing so would face disciplinary action. Such practices did not break Danish law.

A Very Cocky Malaysian Puppy

2005-06-20T12:31:00.000-07:00

A puppy with six legs and two penises was found sleeping outside a Chinese Temple in Malaysia.

Once fully-grown this dog will most likely be able to relieve himself while having sex. And his 2 extra legs will ensure that raising a leg to pee would not put him in a difficult "position", keeping this doggie's style intact.

If the dog was Mexican, the owner could name one of the cocks "Jose" and the other "Hose B".

Original Article.

Singapore's Jedi Knight

2005-06-18T22:21:00.001-07:00

This may sound fishy but did you know that Singapore has its very own Jedi Knight ?

Phua Chu Kang in Safe Sex Campaign

2005-06-18T10:26:00.000-07:00

Singapore's most loveable contractor has put the pink in his pinkie fingernail by appearing in a safe-sex campaign targeted at gay men. The message of this campaign appears to be:

"If you must have sex, make sure the active partner is covered in rubber. Don't pray, pray".

Does SPG like Westernized Oriental Men ?

2005-06-17T07:33:00.000-07:00

One of the reasons SPG gives for her preference for white men is that she is much closer to Western culture than her own. This got me thinking. Would she also consider Westernized Asian men ? You know, the kind that are yellow on the outside but white on the inside. After surfing the web for clues among her photos, the answer I have come to is an emphatic YES!.

Some Guys (and Gals) have all the Luck!

2005-06-16T09:32:00.000-07:00

Lottery double shocks US granny
By Oliver Conway
BBC News, Washington
16 June, 2005

Donna Goeppert, left, poses with store clerk Julianne Wentz.

US grandmother Donna Goeppert, 55, has won $1m (SG$1,650,000) in a lottery just five months after winning the same amount in the same Pennsylvania game.

The odds of hitting the jackpot once are 1.5m to one. To do it twice, the odds rise to a staggering 419m to one.

A shocked Mrs Goeppert described how her husband reacted to the news.

"He couldn't believe it... He was, like... 'Stop messing around' and stuff like that, but he was up here in the store within probably 45 seconds."

After winning her first million, Mrs Goeppert paid off her mortgage, put away some money for her grandchildren's education and bought a new Cadillac.

Now she says she plans to retire - though presumably she will continue to play the lottery.

--End of Article

Attention Singaporeans: You can win the lottery WITHOUT being near the scene of a car accident.

Sex Dolls in Japan

2005-06-16T00:18:00.000-07:00

Newly designed dolls to be used for sex eduction in schools in Japan.

Porn star attends US ruling party event

2005-06-15T22:50:00.000-07:00

I hope PAP invites Singapore's very own Annabel Chong (a.k.a. Grace Quek Eng Ern) for its next fund-raiser after reading about this event. I am sure it will "raise" more than just money. Get ready for the coming ~~erections~~ elections.

Japanese Girls Examining Black Man

2005-06-14T15:36:00.000-07:00

There is this new genre in porn known as CFNM which stands for "Clothed Female, Naked Male". In Japanese CFNM movies a few girls in a room examine a naked man in an "up close and personal" way.

This particular video is interesting because it has a black guy. Here are some snapshots:

Warning (Nudity): This CFNM is NSFW in more ways than one. Ladies, do not try this at your office pantry with a few female colleagues and one lucky guy.

Announcing the arrival of Private(s) First Class Tyrone Jackson from a US Army base in Yokosuka, Japan.

Poor Japanese guy behind the girls does not measure up, thus ignored.

Looks like this guy went to great lengths to impress the girls.

This is how you measure it: Start from the base like this.

Does it tickle when I do this ?

Japanese guy's turn.

Advice for men: If you are lucky enough to end up in this position, please do not spoil it by farting. I think the word "blow-job" was lost in translation on the girl in red.

Yikes! Hey guys, would you accept a hand-job from this young lady ?

Front and back cover of this video.

Even Japanese 12-year olds think black men have big dicks. Read this post by a black American teacher in Japan.

Life Imitating Art ?

2005-06-13T06:05:00.000-07:00

In 1992 Russell Crowe plays a racist in the movie Romper Stomper.

In 2004 Russell Crowe plays a racist in a Sydney cafe:

Student claims racist abuse
June 8, 2005
Sydney Morning Herald

Russell Crowe allegedly hurled racist abuse at a Thai student after being upset about a pie he was served at a landmark Sydney eatery.

The 24-year-old female student said the incident took place while she was working at Harry's Cafe de Wheels last October.

She said Crowe didn't like the beef pie he ordered and became abusive.

"[He was] very abusive, aggressive," she told the Seven Network.

When Crowe was asked to leave, he allegedly told the student: "Do you know who I am?

"You should know this is not your country."

When asked what point Crowe was trying to make, the student said: "To go home."

The Oscar-winning actor was arrested in New York on Monday and charged with assault after allegedly hurling a telephone at a hotel employee.

Crowe was charged with assault in the second degree and criminal possession of a weapon in the fourth degree and faces up to seven years in a New York jail.

--- End of article.

By the way, did'nt Russell migrate to Australia from New Zealand ? What a hypocrite.

The cafe in question, Harry's Cafe de Wheels, has many good reviews for their pies. I'd like to try some if I ever visit Australia. Should I bring a crowe-bar just in case ?

Memo to Singtel

2005-06-12T08:53:00.000-07:00

Dear Singtel,

You are the owner of Optus, the second largest telecoms company in Australia.

I suggest you offer a mobile phone global-roaming service.

You can use the phone problems faced by this travelling Australian to crow about it.

And in your ad copy you can include:

"Avoiding being handcuffed and paraded in front of the global media: priceless."

Technorati Tags: Russell Crowe, Singapore

Would you wear these T-shirts in Singapore ?

2005-06-11T15:20:00.000-07:00

There is a 76.8% chance of being bashed up in Singapore if you wear this:

An SPG can wear this to seduce the male half of a white couple:

I don't think the Singapore Women's Charter covers this right:

Wear this to get full service at Geylang Lorong 12, sorry not available in Thai, Chinese or Malay:

I don't think this slogan wishes you luck at the Singapore Turf Club:

If she does not consent, you consent to 24 strokes on your ass:

Is Mel Gibson thinking of a Sequel ?

When I heard US soldiers in Iraq were mad about Camels, I thought cigarettes:

Come to think of it, a light sabre does come in handy in this line of work:

Hello Kitty ? Nah.... Manja Ganja .....or Catnip-pon

Angmohs sick of fucking Sarong Party Girls should wear this:

..and SPGs abused by their Angmoh boyfriends can wear this:

Pregnant Ladies be Warned: Do Not Consume Alcohol

Early Indoctrination of Communist China's One-Child Policy

Meet James Pearson a.k.a. Sweet16Cindy

I wonder if the characters mean "TUAKEE" in Japanese or Chinese

If you want to buy any of these T-shirts you can go to hell.

Darth Bin Vader Mana Boleh

2005-06-04T10:36:00.000-07:00

Instead of flashing a light sabre, a Malaysian man in a Darth Vader costume just flashed ........... at a group of women factory workers in Bandar Baru Nilai. Some of the outraged ladies claimed they heard him say "Saya bapak engkau" (I am your father) before showing that he had the means to be a father. The ladies were of the opinion that if this man was looking for his long lost daughter from a past affair, this was not the right way to come to terms with his dark side.

As there were two similar flashing incidents, Malaysian police are now busy looking for a "konek"tion.
Original article.

Eat Shit Man Woman

2005-06-03T08:08:00.000-07:00

This is no toilet humour, it is the real thing:

Taiwanese Restaurant Offers Toilet Bowl Servings

By WALLY SANTANA, Associated Press Writer
4 June 2005

Taiwanese restaurateur Eric Wang has given new meaning to the traditional revelers' cry of bottoms up. His eatery in the southern city of Kaohsiung delivers its food not on conventional plates and dishes, but in miniaturized Western and Asian style toilets, both the flush and non-flush variety.

For anyone missing the point, diners are encouraged to stir up mushy, earth-colored offerings like curry chicken rice and chocolate ice cream to conjure up — well, the real thing.

Located in a downtown area with a variety of competing eateries, Marton — the name means toilet in Chinese — attracts its customers through its dazzling bathroom decor.

Walking in through an arched door, diners are greeted with a giant toilet bowl sitting between two urinals. White ceramic toilet seats comfortably accommodate their bottoms, and urinals grace the walls.

Giggling helplessly, high school student Chen Yi-lin gulps down a chocolate ice-cream sundae served in a miniature Asian-style squat toilet, and admits that she is smitten.

"This is fun," she says.

Wang, 26, opened the Marton last year after a roadside prototype — a stand offering toilet-shaped ice cream cones — achieved runaway success.

Now, he says, he has moved decisively upmarket.

"Diners come and walk away with the special experience," he said. "Many try to create more fun, stirring up curry and rice so it looks exactly like when you forget to flush the toilet. Then they gulp it down."

For all its scatological excess, the Marton is following in the noblest tradition of Taiwanese novelty restaurants.

Other successful ventures have purposely confined scores of contented diners to coffins or jail cells, or exposed them to full-scale pictures of Chinese dictator Mao Zedong, Taiwan's political nemesis until his death in 1976.

How come you look flushed ?

These kids appear to be toilet-trained

Hmmm.... Is that our Chief Justice Yong Pung Sai ?

To pee or not to pee ?

One bowl of lao sai, I mean, red bean soup please.

Pretty Japanese Prostitutes

2005-06-03T01:01:00.000-07:00

A Japanese male friend sent me this link of a Tokyo brothel. He thinks the callgirls here are quite chio, especially Natsu and Rei.

Instructions (to view them only, hehe): (Note: No nudity involved)

You need Macromedia Flash Player 7.

1. Go to this link and click on "Enter Site" at the lower right.

2. A Flash window pops up. Click on the blue "Girl's List" tab on the left.

3. Click on any thumbnail face picture on the right to get a bigger picture on the left. Use the scroll bar on extreme right to see more faces.

4. Click on "System" tab on the left to see pricing information.

Sample prices:

20,000 yen (SG$309) for 80 minutes
25,000 yen (SG$386) for 100 minutes
150,000 yen (SG$2319) for 1 day

By the way, I think this website is very well designed.

Japanese Helicopter

2005-06-02T03:10:00.000-07:00

We Singaporeans may be familiar with the term "Chinese Helicopter", which means Chinese-educated. I want to talk about a Japanese Helicopter. There is this male porn star from Japan who invented a special sex technique called Helicopter Fuck. Miki Yanai is able to turn his body 360 degrees while keeping his penis inside his partner. You can see a clip here.

Read more about Yanai-san at Masamania's hilarious blog. A piece on Yanai in Mainichi Shimbun Newspaper. That Mainichi article made mine itchy.

Here are the inevitable puns:

Were impatient porn actresses persuaded to perform with Yanai-san with promises of a quick turnaround?

If Mr. Yanai decided to do charity work should he join the Rotary Club ?

Mr Yanai climaxes at the end of his scenes, proving once again that what goes around comes around.

Is the inventor of the helicopter, Mr. Igor Sikorsky, turning in his grave ? If so, at what axis is he turning ?

The US Military UH-1 Iroquois Helicopter is nicknamed Huey. So a Singaporean guy can do a Huey on some Ah Huay.

Caveat Blogtor - Blogger Beware of sgblogconspiracy

2005-06-01T23:39:00.000-07:00

One gahmen-related organization named SHINE will be providing the refreshments. Dicerning minds may want to know why. I am afraid the drinks will contain a bit of moonSHINE and this substance in order to get bloggers to reveal their true identitites and intentions. My sources confirm that Mr. Brown (Lee Kin Mun) has been ordered to carry out this nefarious task. His secret code name is "Spike Lee".

So bloggers be warned. Do NOT take a shine to the refreshments. Maybe you should do the right thing and BYOB.

Brazilian Wax

2005-06-01T05:26:00.000-07:00

I have a friend from Rio De Janiero. I regulary hear this Brazilian wax lyrical about her country's world-famous hair removal system. As I have never tried it I remained sceptical. So my friend offered this photo as evidence.

Contest to name Singapore's new low-cost terminal

2005-06-01T04:41:00.000-07:00

The contest is on to find a name for Singapore's new low-cost terminal in Changi.
The Civil Aviation Authority of Singapore is looking for one that best reflects the role and function of the terminal, which is being built to facilitate the operations of low-cost carriers at Changi Airport.

Those interested have till end of the July 2005 to submit their entries.

Hmmm.....

Terminal 4 cents

Air Station

Singapore Johore Airport

The Taj Murah
(Note for non-Malay speakers: Mahal = Expensive, Murah = Cheap)

Sungei Road Station

NTUC Fairprice Port

PAP Minister Free Zone

Ta Pau Centre

Pai-Seh-polis

Singapore Domestic (maids) Airport

Walk to Plane Fitness Centre

Changi Prison Annexe

Miss Canada crowned Miss Universe

2005-05-31T21:53:00.000-07:00

Miss Canada was crowned Miss Universe 2005 in Bangkok, Thailand this week. During a celebatory photoshoot Natalie Glebova was asked what quality she found most desirable in men. She simply replied with a shy smile and quickly went on to pose for a picture. I don't think many men will be encouraged by this.

Oh! Canada.

Paris Hilton Engaged

2005-05-31T02:14:00.000-07:00

Paris Hilton and boyfriend Paris Latsis have announced their engagement.

I hope they have their honeymoon in the capital of France.

Then we'll get a video titled "Paris in Paris in Paris".

Singaporeans to Swim Across English Channel

2005-05-30T15:33:00.000-07:00

Two Singaporeans are planning to swim across the English Channel in August 2005. If they succeed, they will most like be praised and celebrated by our government. On the other hand Myanmar nationals who are able to swim across the Johore Strait are caned and deported back home.

Will the 2 Singaporeans make it ? Stay tuned to our own English Channel 5 for this.

ChannelNews Asia reports on this piece of channel news.

Singapore Sex Video Declared Too Political

2005-05-28T23:28:00.000-07:00

A Singapore porn video has been banned for being political.

The video features a mass orgy where the women give the men oral pleasure. No other sex acts are involved.

The porn director still does not know why his movie was declared too political.

The video is titled "People's Suction Party".

.

One Night in Paris - The Sex Tape

2005-05-28T08:12:00.000-07:00

The infamous Paris Hilton sex tape is being sold as "One Night in Paris". This title is inspired by the song "One Night in Bangkok", which, incidently, is banned in Thailand.

Now what if Janet of the "wardrobe malfunction" fame had a similar sex tape done while on vacation in Wyoming state?

One Night in Jackson Hole ?

Naked Bank Officer Attempts Rape

2005-05-28T05:50:00.000-07:00

A New York banking corporation vice-president attempted to rape an off-duty female police officer at a jogging trail in New Jersey. The guy was wearing only a condom when he jumped out of the woods to rape.

I can only think of 2 reasons why he was wearing a condom.

1. He is used to safe sex, i.e., having sex with female staff inside his bank's safe
2. Or, being a bank officer, he hates last-minute withdrawals

Original article.

Toilet Paper Crisis in Finland

2005-05-28T05:15:00.000-07:00

Reuters reported that shoppers in Finland were buying up toilet paper in fear of a shortage due to a paper mill worker strike. As the locals were frantically loading up in a Helsinki store, a Singapore Malay exchange student was spotted observing the scene with a bemused look. When asked why he replied that this toilet paper crisis could easily be water-ed down and that he was willing to show how.

Original article.

Japanese Actor and Tomorrow.sg

2005-05-27T17:59:00.000-07:00

Do you think this Japanese actor should be featured in Tomorrow.sg ?

If yes, what announcement should be made the day before ?

Suggestions please.

The Next William Hung

2005-05-27T13:04:00.000-07:00

A Chinese student in an American college announced his desire to follow in the footsteps of William Hung. He revealed that he is inspired by Bo Bice, the losing American Idol finalist.

This aspiring singer is apparently obsessed with his idol. In his attempts to physically resemble him, he grew his hair long and wore a fake moustache and beard. Many people commented that he looked like a boyish Kitaro. To top it off, he changed his given name to Bo.

Many Chinese newspapers around the world, including Singapore, covered this idealistic young man's dream. Most Hokkien readers responded derisively that this student had nothing better to do.

Will fortune shine on this student with the surname Liau ?

Stay tuned to the Bo Liau story.

.

PM Lee in Japan

2005-05-27T08:02:00.000-07:00

PM Lee visited Japan recently to speak at a symposium among other things. I found some pictures of the event on the Internet which prompted me to imagine what he was saying:

Note: This is fiction

Q: PM Lee, will you be concerned if Dr. Chee decided to run against you in the next elections ?

PM Lee: Of course not. Let him try. I will play him like a guitar.

Q. What if JBJ manages to settle his legal issues and runs against you ?

PM Lee: Ha, Ha. Even better. I'll play him like a sitar.

Q. What if Dhanabalan decided to return to politics, switch parties and run against you ?

PM Lee: I'll slap him............with a lawsuit.

Singapore to Review Controversial Hindi Movie

2005-05-27T07:47:00.000-07:00

On Friday May 27, Channel News Asia reported that the Media Development Authority of Singapore will review the controversial Hindi movie "Jo Bole So Nihal" which had drawn protests from Sikhs in India who claim it denigrates their religion.

I wonder if the film director should calm the situation by promising a sequel titled "Revenge of the Sikh".

Link to news article.

Parody T-Shirts

2005-05-26T10:29:00.000-07:00

I am a big fan of parody t-shirts, especially the ones that mock large corporations. Wearing one is the little guy's way to protest the evils of globalization. Or he may secretly wish it becomes an amusing ice-breaking conversation starter to pick up chicks.

Here is a selection I discoverd on the Net:

1. NUS becomes Singapore University Home of the Slackers

In the linked page, click "View Larger" and look at the reverse design for the slogan and NUS parody logo.

2. FedEx becomes FedUp.

If FedEx merges with UPS, I wonder what new name comes to mind?

3. Starbucks becomes Starf*cks

4. Taco Bell becomes Go To Hell

5. Disney's Finding Nemo becomes They Found Nemo

Note: I think this is a great idea for a T-shirt. I have not come across one though.

6. Old Navy becomes Old Navel

7. Nautica becomes Nausia (suitable for pregnant ladies)

8. Abercrombie becomes AbnerCrummie

My dream job

2005-05-26T10:24:00.000-07:00

I dream of a hotel job in the capital of France so everyday I can enter Paris Hilton by the backdoor.

oo

2005-05-15T00:42:00.000-07:00

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