Thursday, June 30, 2005


Magazine for Japanese Sex Workers

There is a magazine in Japan catering to women who wish to work part-time in the sex industry. The name of this publication is Bustier (website).

A page on the website explains the Japanese sex industry jargon to newbies. The second entry on this list describes a bloody really gross fetish among some Japanese men. If you know what it means, good for you. If you don't, it's even better.

There is a job-search questionnaire on the right side of the home page as pictured below:

Here is an explanation of this job-search menu. The word "client" refers to the lady interested in entering the sex industry through this magazine's service.

The three drop-down menus ask for (from top to bottom):

Type of sex service client is interested to work in.
Location of client
Age of client.

The colourful icons with check boxes mean the following:

Newly hatched chick: Newbie, client has never worked in the sex industry.
Train: Client wants to be reimbursed for train fare.
Red purse: Client prefers to be paid on the same day service is provided.
Baby's bottle: Client needs baby-sitting service.
House: Client wants to live in a dormitory to be provided by employer. Usually country-side girls demand this.
Uniform: Client wants uniforms to be provided by employer.
Steering Wheel: Client wants to be driven back home in a car after work.


Greeting a Big-Breasted Thai Lady

Don't you just love those thighs Thais ?

If you are a male, how do you politely greet and compliment a well-endowed Thai lady ?

You say Sawa D-Cup.

I think it sounds similar to this.


"The Last Samurai" according to Tom Cruise

What if Tom Cruise had his way with movie scripts.

The Last Samurai (spoiler alert)

The Scene
Captain Nathan Algren (Tom Cruise) gives the Japanese Emperor the sword of Lord
Katsumoto (Ken Watanabe) who was killed in battle.

Actual Dialog

The Samurai is gone. The spirit of samurai lives forever.
Tell me how he died.

I will tell you how he lived.

Tom's preferred dialog

The Samurai is gone. The spirit of samurai lives forever.
Tell me how he died.

Fuck Katsumoto, I will tell you how L. Ron Hubbard lived.

Director: CUT!!!

Related News.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005


Female Fans at FIFA Confederations Cup Tournament

Here are some pictures of female fans at the FIFA Confederations Cup Tournament held in Germany in June 2005.

For the match between Germany and Tunisia, this German girl chose to dress in a bikini and a flag. We need more female fans like this:

These Japanese fans were more modestly dressed. Yukatta ne.

When you wear a bra with zeal you get Brazil:

There are many ways to desecrate your national flag. By burning it, tearing it, stamping on it, on it. This form of flag desecration does not apply if your country produces a lot of natural gas, I guess.

This Mexican fan had "tequila" midget to get those mini sombreros.

I just told these Brazilian fans that Singapore plans to qualify for the 2010 World Cup Finals in South Africa.

We all know that Japan is the land of rising sun:

But is Argentina the land of the setting sun ?


Another Pop Star and Panties Story

Popular male pop stars regularly get panties thrown at them by their fawning female fans during live concerts. This story involves a female pop star, a taxi driver fan and a pair of panties:

Pop star rewards honest cabbie with knickers
June 14 2005 at 01:55PM

As if driving a famous pop star around town was not enough, a Serbian taxi driver was rewarded for his honesty - with a pair of her knickers (panties).

Serbian pop star Tina Ivanovic, 29, (pictured above) offered money to cabbie Toma Majstorovic after he returned her handbag, but when he refused - saying he would rather prefer a pair of her knickers instead - she gladly obliged.

Ivanovic was so touched when Majstorovic returned her bag that she gave him a pair of silk panties, local weekly newspaper Svet reported.

The singer had left her handbag in his car after a trip to a beauty salon in Belgrade. -

I wonder if Singaporean cabby Tan Ah Kow of panty-UC COMFORT-able would ask for a similar favour from Fiona Xie, Ho Yeow Sun, etc.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005


A Typo in Taipei

An unfortunate lady in Taiwan is looking for a new job after a mishap at the stockbroking firm which fired her. Her keyboard mis-stroke nearly caused the boss to have a stroke.

One wonders if she had these kind of nails:

Even this ladies' job in Taiwan can't be done with long fingernails.

Somebody's sure to notice this...
Tue Jun 28, 2005 10:42 AM ET

TAIPEI (Reuters) - A Taiwan stock trader mistakenly bought T$7.9 billion ($251 million) worth of shares with a mis-stroke of her computer, meaning her company is looking at a paper loss of more than $12 million and she is looking for a new job.

The trader with Fubon Securities mis-keyed in a small order from Merrill Lynch Monday, creating confusion when many small firms inexplicably surged the 7 percent trading limit.

"Something like this is difficult to explain to superiors," a Fubon executive said Tuesday.

Fubon said that the trader was unfamiliar with new computer systems and would be fired.

"There is a paper loss of more than T$400 million," said the executive.

"However, with a good outlook for stocks in the second half, there are no plans to sell the shares in the near term."

Monday, June 27, 2005


West Ham United ?

Pig-ball (click to enlarge)

We all know that West Ham United has just been promoted to the English Premier League. I think this news story from Russia will cause some confusion.

The Man-of-the-Match was David Beck-HAM. And this other player was sent-off for violent play: Notorious P.I.G.

'Pig-Ball' Soccer Championships Staged in Russia, With Piglets Playing Five-On-Five Match
The Associated Press

Jun. 5, 2005 - In this game, everyone stinks and hogging the ball is to be expected. Ten squealing, wriggling piglets pushed (and licked) a soccer ball around a small caged pen Sunday in what organizers said was Russia's first-ever "pig-ball" championships.

The event, staged as part of an agricultural exhibition on Moscow's outskirts, is set up like soccer, with two teams of five piglets. Instead of goals, the teams try to move the ball into painted, half-circles located at the pen's corners. To move things along, the ball is slathered in mashed carrots.

Whether there's any athletic skill involved aside from aggressive licking is an open question.

"Why pigs?" said Nariner Bagmanyan, one of the event's organizers. "It's more interesting and you know, this kind of thing doesn't happen anywhere."

Cheered on by dozens spectators, the winning piglets got a trophy for their efforts and a trough of mashed carrots.

Organizers, along with the newly formed Federation of Sport Pig Breeding, said next year they planned to recruit pig-ball teams from around Russia.

ABC News Internet Ventures


Batman Begins and The Simpsons

Police Officer Jim Gordon in Batman Begins has a close resemblance to the devout Christian Ned Flanders of the Simpsons.

No wonder the officer bails out a character played by "Christian" Bale.


Allergic to Dairy Products

This Japanese adult video actress is surely not "lick-toes" intolerant.

Saturday, June 25, 2005


Beckham and Plumber: Poles Apart?

Polish Plumber (click on pic to enlarge)

The government of Poland is using the above poster to reassure France that their plumbers would be staying home rather than take her jobs. The poster also urges French people to visit Poland. The model, 21-year old Piotr Adamski, looks a lot like a certain English footballer in Spain.

Now, will the Chinese government ever use Gong Li in a poster to reassure Singaporeans about their jobs ? Or India use Shahrukh Khan to calm our fears about employment in IT ?

Thursday, June 23, 2005


Whale Burgers in Japan

A young Japanese woman bites into a whale burger, a 380 yen slice of fried minke whale in a bun, which went on sale at Lucky Pierrot, a restaurant chain in the port city of Hakodate on Japan's northernmost island of Hokkaido, June 23, 2005. With Japan under fire for plans to expand its whaling programme, Lucky Pierrot is offering a new product aimed at using up stocks from past hunts. REUTERS/Courtesy of Lucky Pierrot

It is a good thing that the caption mentions the kind of whale meat she is eating. The white stuff on the burger gives the false impression that it is sperm whale.

Of course, Chinese Singaporeans may retort, "Sperm Whale ? Mayo, lah"

Wednesday, June 22, 2005


Which Backstreet Boy is Gay ?

Sung to the tune of Backstreet Boys' "I Want It That Way". (Warning: song will play)

My guess is the blonde guy on the right.

There are some mistakes in the lyrics on that website.

Here are the corrections:

But he don't need an IUD
He's playing croquet
His dog is a Pekingese
He's makin' up a soufflé.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005


Tom Cruising

A repoter in London confused the movie "War of the Worlds" with "Waterworld" resulting in this mishap. C'mon Tom, relax. It's just like getting a bit wet in the rain, man.

TVgasm has a funny take on this incident using the term "money shot" which denotes the climax scenes in porn movies where the actor completes his act on the partner's face. It is also known as a facial. The clip on the left is the actual incident and the right one is the parody. Enjoy!

Earlier in Paris, Tom Cruise reportedly said and we quote "Eiffel on my knees and proposed to Kate".

I wonder if Ms. Hilton's boyfriend proposed to her while in Paris.


Germany Vs Argentina

The name of the goalkeeper for Argentina playing against Germany in the Confederations Cup Soccer Tournament is German Lux. (Lux is pronounced "Looks")

The pre-game headline for this game should be:

Germans Look to beat German Lux


The Other Handsome Footballers

Why is a straight guy like me making a list of "the other" handsome footballers ?

1. Make my lady viewers happy
2. Show some selections made by my lady friends
3. Tired of the over-exposure of players like Beckham, Raul, Figo, Nakata and Frank Lam-Pah.

The List

1. David Ginola of France (retired, models for L'Oreal Hair Shampoo)

2. Kaka of AC Milan & Brazil
Kaka's club team lost to Liverpool in the European Champion's League Final. I wonder how many ladies would volunteer to console him. A clear favorite among the schoolgirls.

I think Kaka deserves a second look. Is he showing us the number of girlfriends he had ?

And a third. Christian ladies rejoice.

3. Mido of Tottenham Hotspurs and Egypt
I am sure many Malay ladies will be happy to see this Egyptian guy. Sorry to mention this tapi dia sudah kahwin.

More photos in Mido's website.

4. Cannavaro of Juventus and Italy.
He has very short hair now. I included him to make my gay viewers happy.

5. Junichi Inamoto of WBA and Japan
My Japanese lady friends call him Ina-chan. Otokomae desu ne.

6. Ilhan Mansiz of Hertha Berlin and Turkey

7. Roque Santa Cruz of Bayern Munich and Paraguay

Monday, June 20, 2005


Hand Foot and Mouth Disease

Hand Foot and Mouth Disease is a mild ailment afflicting young children.

You can read a brief description about it here.

However, in the Japanese adult video industry, some actresses suffer from a slightly different form of this disease.


Danish Game for Exotic Dinners

You can have tea with dessert but never have meat with a Danish.

Read on:

Zookeepers find muskrats delectable

Mon Jun 20,12:32 PM ET

Danish zookeepers slaughtered animals in their care, including more than 50 muskrats, and served the meat to unsuspecting friends and family until zoos changed their rules, newspaper Ekstra Bladet reported Friday.

"A single muskrat serves up to four people. You just have to avoid saying what it is before your family has eaten it because it sounds disgusting," elephant keeper Peter Jensen was quoted as saying.

Nobody at Copenhagen Zoo, home to 3,300 animals and 264 species, was available for comment.

The zookeepers also feasted on antelope and gaur, the newspaper said.

"It's always a success when you can serve you friends something special," zookeeper Nikolai Rhod said, adding he had also eaten rabbits, pigs and chicken from the petting zoo.

Zookeepers in Denmark used to slaughter animals for meat until a zoo crackdown last year under which anyone caught doing so would face disciplinary action. Such practices did not break Danish law.


A Very Cocky Malaysian Puppy

A puppy with six legs and two penises was found sleeping outside a Chinese Temple in Malaysia.

Once fully-grown this dog will most likely be able to relieve himself while having sex. And his 2 extra legs will ensure that raising a leg to pee would not put him in a difficult "position", keeping this doggie's style intact.

If the dog was Mexican, the owner could name one of the cocks "Jose" and the other "Hose B".

Original Article.

Saturday, June 18, 2005


Singapore's Jedi Knight

This may sound fishy but did you know that Singapore has its very own Jedi Knight ?


Phua Chu Kang in Safe Sex Campaign

Singapore's most loveable contractor has put the pink in his pinkie fingernail by appearing in a safe-sex campaign targeted at gay men. The message of this campaign appears to be:

"If you must have sex, make sure the active partner is covered in rubber. Don't pray, pray".

Friday, June 17, 2005


Does SPG like Westernized Oriental Men ?

One of the reasons SPG gives for her preference for white men is that she is much closer to Western culture than her own. This got me thinking. Would she also consider Westernized Asian men ? You know, the kind that are yellow on the outside but white on the inside. After surfing the web for clues among her photos, the answer I have come to is an emphatic YES!.

Thursday, June 16, 2005


Some Guys (and Gals) have all the Luck!

Lottery double shocks US granny
By Oliver Conway
BBC News, Washington
16 June, 2005

Donna Goeppert, left, poses with store clerk Julianne Wentz.

US grandmother Donna Goeppert, 55, has won $1m (SG$1,650,000) in a lottery just five months after winning the same amount in the same Pennsylvania game.

The odds of hitting the jackpot once are 1.5m to one. To do it twice, the odds rise to a staggering 419m to one.

A shocked Mrs Goeppert described how her husband reacted to the news.

"He couldn't believe it... He was, like... 'Stop messing around' and stuff like that, but he was up here in the store within probably 45 seconds."

After winning her first million, Mrs Goeppert paid off her mortgage, put away some money for her grandchildren's education and bought a new Cadillac.

Now she says she plans to retire - though presumably she will continue to play the lottery.

--End of Article

Attention Singaporeans: You can win the lottery WITHOUT being near the scene of a car accident.


Sex Dolls in Japan

Newly designed dolls to be used for sex eduction in schools in Japan.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005


Porn star attends US ruling party event

I hope PAP invites Singapore's very own Annabel Chong (a.k.a. Grace Quek Eng Ern) for its next fund-raiser after reading about this event. I am sure it will "raise" more than just money. Get ready for the coming erections elections.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005


Japanese Girls Examining Black Man

There is this new genre in porn known as CFNM which stands for "Clothed Female, Naked Male". In Japanese CFNM movies a few girls in a room examine a naked man in an "up close and personal" way.

This particular video is interesting because it has a black guy. Here are some snapshots:

Warning (Nudity): This CFNM is NSFW in more ways than one. Ladies, do not try this at your office pantry with a few female colleagues and one lucky guy.

Announcing the arrival of Private(s) First Class Tyrone Jackson from a US Army base in Yokosuka, Japan.

Poor Japanese guy behind the girls does not measure up, thus ignored.

Looks like this guy went to great lengths to impress the girls.

This is how you measure it: Start from the base like this.

Does it tickle when I do this ?

Japanese guy's turn.

Advice for men: If you are lucky enough to end up in this position, please do not spoil it by farting. I think the word "blow-job" was lost in translation on the girl in red.

Yikes! Hey guys, would you accept a hand-job from this young lady ?

Front and back cover of this video.

Even Japanese 12-year olds think black men have big dicks. Read this post by a black American teacher in Japan.

Monday, June 13, 2005


Life Imitating Art ?

In 1992 Russell Crowe plays a racist in the movie Romper Stomper.

In 2004 Russell Crowe plays a racist in a Sydney cafe:

Student claims racist abuse
June 8, 2005
Sydney Morning Herald

Russell Crowe allegedly hurled racist abuse at a Thai student after being upset about a pie he was served at a landmark Sydney eatery.

The 24-year-old female student said the incident took place while she was working at Harry's Cafe de Wheels last October.

She said Crowe didn't like the beef pie he ordered and became abusive.

"[He was] very abusive, aggressive," she told the Seven Network.

When Crowe was asked to leave, he allegedly told the student: "Do you know who I am?

"You should know this is not your country."

When asked what point Crowe was trying to make, the student said: "To go home."

The Oscar-winning actor was arrested in New York on Monday and charged with assault after allegedly hurling a telephone at a hotel employee.

Crowe was charged with assault in the second degree and criminal possession of a weapon in the fourth degree and faces up to seven years in a New York jail.

--- End of article.

By the way, did'nt Russell migrate to Australia from New Zealand ? What a hypocrite.

The cafe in question, Harry's Cafe de Wheels, has many good reviews for their pies. I'd like to try some if I ever visit Australia. Should I bring a crowe-bar just in case ?

Sunday, June 12, 2005


Memo to Singtel

Dear ,

You are the owner of Optus, the second largest telecoms company in Australia.

I suggest you offer a mobile phone global-roaming service.

You can use the phone problems faced by this travelling Australian to crow about it.

And in your ad copy you can include:

"Avoiding being handcuffed and paraded in front of the global media: priceless."

Technorati Tags: Russell Crowe, Singapore

Saturday, June 11, 2005


Would you wear these T-shirts in Singapore ?

There is a 76.8% chance of being bashed up in Singapore if you wear this:

An SPG can wear this to seduce the male half of a white couple:

I don't think the Singapore Women's Charter covers this right:

Wear this to get full service at Geylang Lorong 12, sorry not available in Thai, Chinese or Malay:

I don't think this slogan wishes you luck at the Singapore Turf Club:

If she does not consent, you consent to 24 strokes on your ass:

Is Mel Gibson thinking of a Sequel ?

When I heard US soldiers in Iraq were mad about Camels, I thought cigarettes:

Come to think of it, a light sabre does come in handy in this line of work:

Hello Kitty ? Nah.... Manja Ganja .....or Catnip-pon

Angmohs sick of fucking Sarong Party Girls should wear this:

..and SPGs abused by their Angmoh boyfriends can wear this:

Pregnant Ladies be Warned: Do Not Consume Alcohol

Early Indoctrination of Communist China's One-Child Policy

Meet James Pearson a.k.a. Sweet16Cindy

I wonder if the characters mean "TUAKEE" in Japanese or Chinese

If you want to buy any of these T-shirts you can go to hell.

Saturday, June 04, 2005


Darth Bin Vader Mana Boleh

Instead of flashing a light sabre, a Malaysian man in a Darth Vader costume just flashed ........... at a group of women factory workers in Bandar Baru Nilai. Some of the outraged ladies claimed they heard him say "Saya bapak engkau" (I am your father) before showing that he had the means to be a father. The ladies were of the opinion that if this man was looking for his long lost daughter from a past affair, this was not the right way to come to terms with his dark side.

As there were two similar flashing incidents, Malaysian police are now busy looking for a "konek"tion.
Original article.

Friday, June 03, 2005


Eat Shit Man Woman

This is no toilet humour, it is the real thing:

Taiwanese Restaurant Offers Toilet Bowl Servings

By WALLY SANTANA, Associated Press Writer
4 June 2005

Taiwanese restaurateur Eric Wang has given new meaning to the traditional revelers' cry of bottoms up. His eatery in the southern city of Kaohsiung delivers its food not on conventional plates and dishes, but in miniaturized Western and Asian style toilets, both the flush and non-flush variety.

For anyone missing the point, diners are encouraged to stir up mushy, earth-colored offerings like curry chicken rice and chocolate ice cream to conjure up — well, the real thing.

Located in a downtown area with a variety of competing eateries, Marton — the name means toilet in Chinese — attracts its customers through its dazzling bathroom decor.

Walking in through an arched door, diners are greeted with a giant toilet bowl sitting between two urinals. White ceramic toilet seats comfortably accommodate their bottoms, and urinals grace the walls.

Giggling helplessly, high school student Chen Yi-lin gulps down a chocolate ice-cream sundae served in a miniature Asian-style squat toilet, and admits that she is smitten.

"This is fun," she says.

Wang, 26, opened the Marton last year after a roadside prototype — a stand offering toilet-shaped ice cream cones — achieved runaway success.

Now, he says, he has moved decisively upmarket.

"Diners come and walk away with the special experience," he said. "Many try to create more fun, stirring up curry and rice so it looks exactly like when you forget to flush the toilet. Then they gulp it down."

For all its scatological excess, the Marton is following in the noblest tradition of Taiwanese novelty restaurants.

Other successful ventures have purposely confined scores of contented diners to coffins or jail cells, or exposed them to full-scale pictures of Chinese dictator Mao Zedong, Taiwan's political nemesis until his death in 1976.

How come you look flushed ?

These kids appear to be toilet-trained

Hmmm.... Is that our Chief Justice Yong Pung Sai ?

To pee or not to pee ?

One bowl of lao sai, I mean, red bean soup please.

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